Dear John...

Could you have looked any crankier, any lamer, any more impotent in Thursday's Health Care Summit? I can't imagine how.

What a crotchety weenie you were. Even when you smiled and laughed you seemed like a weenie.

You lost, John, get over it.

I used to really like you; I did. I was pulling for you against Bush in 2000 (but I probably would have pulled for a chimp that year), but you've become almost a bad joke with a worse punchline. Not that you care, but I feel badly for you. I feel almost sorry for you... almost.

I like your wife and daughter a whole lot more than you.

Good luck, John, in your campaign against a tea-partying Phoenix sportscaster, and not a very good sportscaster at that. It should be a nice closer to your political career, that and having given us all Sarah Palin.

Wow. Thanks again for that one, JC.

You're a national hero and that's the truth; you deserve everyone's respect and thanks, but you'd be far better off if you didn't speak anymore because when you do you garner anything but respect, and many of us would be far more thankful if you just buttoned it and moved on, if you just let the memories of you remain golden.

With kindest regards... a former fan