Friday, February 27, 2009

Tiger's untimely exit...

Well, he lasted two rounds after being away eight months. Tim Clark played bogey-free golf and didn't let up, didn't allow Tiger any traction, and, ultimately, didn't lose to the world's number 1. For Tiger's part, he probably didn't play to his usual standards, but... to his everlasting credit he did not take a single thing away from Tim Clark's effort and result. Eldrick is a classy guy, indeed.

Allow me to float a theory, of sorts: Tiger came back for this tournament to honor a sponsor commitment, and played as well as he could to win assuming he got some breaks, as he did the first day with Brendan Jones who gave Tiger a great deal of wiggle room in that first round. Tiger won that round, but had he played a guy who was on, he might not have won and might have exited after that first round. This is true of any good golfer, against any other good golfer.

Now, Tiger has said that he does not enter tournaments to simply make the cut, or to place. He enters them to win. Period.

OK.

But what if Tiger is starting to see the light at the end of his golfing tunnel? What if being a dad for the second time is creating a stronger pull on him, a stronger attraction for him, than golf has? What if Tiger is considering his exit from the game after he wins his 19th major?

Stay with me for a second.

When Tiger wins that 19th major he'll set a record that, arguably, might well never be broken, let alone matched, by anyone... until, maybe... wait for it... Charlie Axel Woods matches it or breaks it. Does Tiger see Charlie as his golf-legacy's future?

Obviously, any child is his or her parents' legacy, sure, but in the case of Eldrick Tiger Woods, what better legacy could there be for the best golfer in the world than to raise the best golfer in the world? Tiger's dad successfully raised Tiger to be exactly that, and Earl was not the world's best golfer; so, why would Tiger not be able to do the same? Put another way, who better to do it? (And who's to say daughter Sam couldn't be that golfer?)

Maybe Charlie won't show any aptitude or interest, and I think (I would hope) Tiger and his wife are smart enough to allow that to be what it must be, to allow their children to make some of their own choices. But what if Charlie
does show aptitude and interest?

Wouldn't that be a cool story?

I think it would be, and it'll be fun watching it all unfold, no matter how it goes. Sure, there are many things going on right now that are far more important than Tiger, Charlie, and their future together, but this is fun, and what's wrong with a little fun?

We'll have Tiger playing his best for a few more years, at least: I plan on enjoying them all.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wingnut Alert!

Yikes.

Still Barenaked?

This really is too bad.

I hope the band can maintain its uniqueness without Page.

Tiger TV!

If you're not a golfer, seeing Tiger play again is not that big a deal.

But if you are a golfer, this is going to be fun, win or lose.

He's a special player who has done wonders for the game. If you're a golfer and you can't get fired up about this, even a little bit, then I can't imagine what does get you going, and you might need to seek medical attention.

How to and how not to...

Great speech

Timely, appropriate, straightforward
, and well delivered.

Not-so-great speech

Mmmm... not so much. The Repo response seemed as if it was written weeks ago, which is sort of ironic considering they're often accused of not listening.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Lefty wins!

Way to go, Phil!

I told you losing that white belt would help. You don't want to shoot in the 70s, so why would you want to dress in them?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Haikus

Black shirt and black pants
Hmmm... would it have been so tough

To reach for black belt?


Phil’s white belt shining

Like a glowing bright beacon

From the seventies.

Only Phil's belt knows
Just how many rummage sales

He had to visit.


Phil’s new white belt

Between black shirt and pants screams

Oreo filling!

Alan, oh Alan...

What a goofball!

Do you really believe that you're believable? You bring
incredulity to incredulity itself. You regularly test new depths of shallowness. You're not even up to half a wackjob, and anyone who buys into your goofiness is goofier than you.

Be careful,
Mr. Keyes: saying President Obama "must be stopped" is right on the hairy edge of that which the Secret Service takes very, very seriously, indeed.

Hey Phil...

Don't look to Butch or to Dave, because I know exactly why you had trouble today on the course.

Two words... white belt.


Two more words... lose it.

Two more words... yes, really.

Unless you plan on rolling up to the clubhouse in a Gremlin or a Pacer, I'd reconsider rocking that wardrobe.

I love your game Phil, but I survived the fashion-bereft 70s and know what I'm talking about here.

Please trust me... "70s Fashion" is an oxymoron.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Cassandra Kudlow...

Hey Larry... Chicken Little has nothing on you. You give wingnuts everywhere a bad name.

Stop shouting, take a breath, and listen to those guests of yours who obviously take themselves far less seriously and who actually use the brains they have.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

He's baaack!

YES!

The definition of mealy-mouthed...

What a d@ckhead.

You'll take our money. You won't like it. But you'll do it. I get it.

You're running for president in 2012.


You want to derail your state while you keep your career on track! Great plan.


As a federal taxpayer who is paying into the federal plan to help your state,
I'd rather you just (A) accept the cash and then (B) shove it into the place where you keep your head, although I doubt it will yield one bit of interest.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Friday, February 13, 2009

Must-see TV for certain ...

This is a fascinating discussion and explanation of what has to happen with the banks and what we have to do to take back the country!

Oligarchy: it's a special word.

The birth of a euphemism...

Retention award enters the public lexicon as the euphemism du jour.

Spare me.

Who are they kidding. Retention award = bonus.

And for what? The person who lost the least amount of money? Great job.


Just p
ut down the crack pipe and back away slowly.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Living and maybe dying for peanuts...

This is an interesting turn of events in the salmonella-in-the-peanuts story.

You know... in China they shoot executives for this sort of behavior and decision making. Sure, this guy has a right to protect himself under fifth-amendment rights, but it's somewhat smarmy nevertheless.

If this story turns out to be true, if this guy did what is alleged, perhaps we should consider a "China solution" in this case as well: it just might knock some sense into our unethical executives
and they'll suddenly grow a conscience and maybe realize that putting p
rofits over people is not the correct choice.

Let's not forget that the word "execution" has a double meaning.

Friday, February 6, 2009

What goes around, comes around...

A karma sandwich?

Looks like Russia might be having its revenge on us for having helped the Mujahedin during the 80s.


No, Kyrgyzstan isn't Russia, but Russia is giving Kyrgyzstan lots and lots of money (more than we can give them), so they're towing Putin's hard-line. A puppet is still a puppet, no matter the manipulator.


Maybe we'll eventually learn the lesson and maybe we won't.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

'Cuz I'm the Taxman...

Wow. Three of the president's chosen "discover" they have tax problems and two of them go down in flames.

These are supposedly sharp people. Pillars of industry and government. What's the deal?

What does this say about the chances the rest of us regular people have for getting our taxes right? What are we missing?

Yikes.

Monday, February 2, 2009

What a game...

Regardless of who you were pulling for, Superbowl XLIII was a great football game!

He goes for the gold, but Acapulco Gold?

Oops. Michael Phelps, eight-time gold-medal swimmer in the 2008 Olympics has been photographed holding a glass pot pipe to his mouth. Was it a posed photo or a candid photo? Was it a setup or a boneheaded mistake? Did he inhale?

Even though the International Olympic Committee (IOC) says it's no problem, it's probably a puff, a party, and lost sponsorships, to paraphrase the movie poster for "Reefer Madness."

Forget for a moment that the criminalization of marijuana is arguably an antiquated absurdity; forget that it's still currently illegal and no one should break the law. Instead, consider the propensity for celebrities to behave like normal people, which always seems to make for a fascinating story, well, a story.

Why oh why, when they have everything going for them, do they insist on taking careful aim and firing into their own feet? What does this prove? That they're a good shot from about 3 feet away?

Unbelievable. Even if he didn't smoke anything, even if the photo was an innocent joke, why do it? Especially in the age of the Internet when a moment's frivolity can become a lifetime's gotcha.

I hope this gets better for him, because he seems like a good kid and I feel bad for him. But I feel bad for all the other kids who set him up as a role model, and I feel bad for the parents of those kids.


Yes, I know: there are larger issues in the world.