Planning for "that day"...

I recently spent a week in Arizona trying to help my mom and my sisters through a hospital stay of my dad's. I'm not sure I was able to do much, but I had a lot of time to think and have concluded a few things that might help others who are reading this with a similar situation now or when "that day" arrives.

Plan Early

As much as you're able, develop a plan for when your parents get old. Most of my contemporaries have already lost their folks, but there are many who haven't. If this means you need to save a bit more money to be able to help them be comfortable, then that's what will need to happen. Figure out who will take care of them. This will require talking with your siblings (if you have them) and coming up with a plan.

Communicate Constantly

If you have siblings, talk with them. Come to as much consensus as you can. Siblings' relationships can be challenging, but a unified front will help when a crisis happens. Talk with your folks as well. Sometimes people don't like to talk about this: it's too much like confronting mortality, but again, having a plan will help and talking about it is the only way to develop that plan. You are advocates for your parents' health care. You have to talk about what's going on.

Don't Fear Doctors

Too many people think MD means Major Diety. Doctors are people who you have to talk to and ask questions. They deal in jargon and will often say things you just don't understand. The best way to gain understanding is to ask questions. You're not questioning them; you're asking questions. Big difference. If you get resistance, keep trying.

Know Your Rights

You have the right to communicate for your parents if your parents are unable to communicate for themselves. You have a right to ask for a second opinion. And patients have rights as well. Know what these are so you can work with health care professionals rather than against them.

Ultimately, it's about your parents, and not about you, doctors, or nurses. Keep this foremost in your mind.

This might all seem like common sense, but the problem is that all too often sense is far too uncommon.