Black shirt and black pants
Hmmm... would it have been so tough
To reach for black belt?
Phil’s white belt shining
Like a glowing bright beacon
From the seventies.
Only Phil's belt knows
Just how many rummage sales
He had to visit.
Phil’s new white belt
Between black shirt and pants screams
Oreo filling!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Alan, oh Alan...
What a goofball!
Do you really believe that you're believable? You bring incredulity to incredulity itself. You regularly test new depths of shallowness. You're not even up to half a wackjob, and anyone who buys into your goofiness is goofier than you.
Be careful, Mr. Keyes: saying President Obama "must be stopped" is right on the hairy edge of that which the Secret Service takes very, very seriously, indeed.
Do you really believe that you're believable? You bring incredulity to incredulity itself. You regularly test new depths of shallowness. You're not even up to half a wackjob, and anyone who buys into your goofiness is goofier than you.
Be careful, Mr. Keyes: saying President Obama "must be stopped" is right on the hairy edge of that which the Secret Service takes very, very seriously, indeed.
Hey Phil...
Don't look to Butch or to Dave, because I know exactly why you had trouble today on the course.
Two words... white belt.
Two more words... lose it.
Two more words... yes, really.
Unless you plan on rolling up to the clubhouse in a Gremlin or a Pacer, I'd reconsider rocking that wardrobe.
I love your game Phil, but I survived the fashion-bereft 70s and know what I'm talking about here.
Please trust me... "70s Fashion" is an oxymoron.
Two words... white belt.
Two more words... lose it.
Two more words... yes, really.
Unless you plan on rolling up to the clubhouse in a Gremlin or a Pacer, I'd reconsider rocking that wardrobe.
I love your game Phil, but I survived the fashion-bereft 70s and know what I'm talking about here.
Please trust me... "70s Fashion" is an oxymoron.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Cassandra Kudlow...
Hey Larry... Chicken Little has nothing on you. You give wingnuts everywhere a bad name.
Stop shouting, take a breath, and listen to those guests of yours who obviously take themselves far less seriously and who actually use the brains they have.
Stop shouting, take a breath, and listen to those guests of yours who obviously take themselves far less seriously and who actually use the brains they have.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The definition of mealy-mouthed...
What a d@ckhead.
You'll take our money. You won't like it. But you'll do it. I get it.
You're running for president in 2012.
You want to derail your state while you keep your career on track! Great plan.
As a federal taxpayer who is paying into the federal plan to help your state, I'd rather you just (A) accept the cash and then (B) shove it into the place where you keep your head, although I doubt it will yield one bit of interest.
You'll take our money. You won't like it. But you'll do it. I get it.
You're running for president in 2012.
You want to derail your state while you keep your career on track! Great plan.
As a federal taxpayer who is paying into the federal plan to help your state, I'd rather you just (A) accept the cash and then (B) shove it into the place where you keep your head, although I doubt it will yield one bit of interest.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Must-see TV for certain ...
The birth of a euphemism...
Retention award enters the public lexicon as the euphemism du jour.
Spare me.
Who are they kidding. Retention award = bonus.
And for what? The person who lost the least amount of money? Great job.
Just put down the crack pipe and back away slowly.
Spare me.
Who are they kidding. Retention award = bonus.
And for what? The person who lost the least amount of money? Great job.
Just put down the crack pipe and back away slowly.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Living and maybe dying for peanuts...
This is an interesting turn of events in the salmonella-in-the-peanuts story.
You know... in China they shoot executives for this sort of behavior and decision making. Sure, this guy has a right to protect himself under fifth-amendment rights, but it's somewhat smarmy nevertheless.
If this story turns out to be true, if this guy did what is alleged, perhaps we should consider a "China solution" in this case as well: it just might knock some sense into our unethical executives and they'll suddenly grow a conscience and maybe realize that putting profits over people is not the correct choice.
Let's not forget that the word "execution" has a double meaning.
You know... in China they shoot executives for this sort of behavior and decision making. Sure, this guy has a right to protect himself under fifth-amendment rights, but it's somewhat smarmy nevertheless.
If this story turns out to be true, if this guy did what is alleged, perhaps we should consider a "China solution" in this case as well: it just might knock some sense into our unethical executives and they'll suddenly grow a conscience and maybe realize that putting profits over people is not the correct choice.
Let's not forget that the word "execution" has a double meaning.
Friday, February 6, 2009
What goes around, comes around...
A karma sandwich?
Looks like Russia might be having its revenge on us for having helped the Mujahedin during the 80s.
No, Kyrgyzstan isn't Russia, but Russia is giving Kyrgyzstan lots and lots of money (more than we can give them), so they're towing Putin's hard-line. A puppet is still a puppet, no matter the manipulator.
Maybe we'll eventually learn the lesson and maybe we won't.
Looks like Russia might be having its revenge on us for having helped the Mujahedin during the 80s.
No, Kyrgyzstan isn't Russia, but Russia is giving Kyrgyzstan lots and lots of money (more than we can give them), so they're towing Putin's hard-line. A puppet is still a puppet, no matter the manipulator.
Maybe we'll eventually learn the lesson and maybe we won't.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
'Cuz I'm the Taxman...
Wow. Three of the president's chosen "discover" they have tax problems and two of them go down in flames.
These are supposedly sharp people. Pillars of industry and government. What's the deal?
What does this say about the chances the rest of us regular people have for getting our taxes right? What are we missing?
Yikes.
These are supposedly sharp people. Pillars of industry and government. What's the deal?
What does this say about the chances the rest of us regular people have for getting our taxes right? What are we missing?
Yikes.
Monday, February 2, 2009
He goes for the gold, but Acapulco Gold?
Oops. Michael Phelps, eight-time gold-medal swimmer in the 2008 Olympics has been photographed holding a glass pot pipe to his mouth. Was it a posed photo or a candid photo? Was it a setup or a boneheaded mistake? Did he inhale?
Even though the International Olympic Committee (IOC) says it's no problem, it's probably a puff, a party, and lost sponsorships, to paraphrase the movie poster for "Reefer Madness."
Forget for a moment that the criminalization of marijuana is arguably an antiquated absurdity; forget that it's still currently illegal and no one should break the law. Instead, consider the propensity for celebrities to behave like normal people, which always seems to make for a fascinating story, well, a story.
Why oh why, when they have everything going for them, do they insist on taking careful aim and firing into their own feet? What does this prove? That they're a good shot from about 3 feet away?
Unbelievable. Even if he didn't smoke anything, even if the photo was an innocent joke, why do it? Especially in the age of the Internet when a moment's frivolity can become a lifetime's gotcha.
I hope this gets better for him, because he seems like a good kid and I feel bad for him. But I feel bad for all the other kids who set him up as a role model, and I feel bad for the parents of those kids.
Yes, I know: there are larger issues in the world.
Even though the International Olympic Committee (IOC) says it's no problem, it's probably a puff, a party, and lost sponsorships, to paraphrase the movie poster for "Reefer Madness."
Forget for a moment that the criminalization of marijuana is arguably an antiquated absurdity; forget that it's still currently illegal and no one should break the law. Instead, consider the propensity for celebrities to behave like normal people, which always seems to make for a fascinating story, well, a story.
Why oh why, when they have everything going for them, do they insist on taking careful aim and firing into their own feet? What does this prove? That they're a good shot from about 3 feet away?
Unbelievable. Even if he didn't smoke anything, even if the photo was an innocent joke, why do it? Especially in the age of the Internet when a moment's frivolity can become a lifetime's gotcha.
I hope this gets better for him, because he seems like a good kid and I feel bad for him. But I feel bad for all the other kids who set him up as a role model, and I feel bad for the parents of those kids.
Yes, I know: there are larger issues in the world.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
January 20th is finally here!
This is just so great.
I just hope we can all cut the guy some slack and give him some time. I think we're in good hands. There's no way one man can change such big things, but there is a way for one man to inspire others to make small changes that can accumulate.
I just can't help feeling this is appropriate.
Hey... it's my blog.
I just hope we can all cut the guy some slack and give him some time. I think we're in good hands. There's no way one man can change such big things, but there is a way for one man to inspire others to make small changes that can accumulate.
I just can't help feeling this is appropriate.
Hey... it's my blog.
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