First, I need to say that there's much about astrology that I just don't get let alone buy into. I believe that anyone who puts their faith in a power above themselves, outside themselves, is asking for disappointment.
This said, I believe in Mercury Retrograde. (I'll leave it to the reader to do research on this astrological phenomenon.)
Case in point... I am selling a musical instrument, and I advertised it for sale on a popular website designed for this purpose. I was contacted via email by someone interested in buying it and we then spoke on the phone.
I have sold and purchased many instruments and have never had a problem... before now.
What transpired and resulted was one of the most confused, most screwed-up episodes with which I have ever been involved, ever. A complete communications breakdown occurred. Everything that had the potential to be misinterpreted was; everything that had the potential to be poorly stated was; everything that had the potential to be misunderstood was. Even though I thought I provided full disclosure, thought I was completely candid and forthright, confusion and suspicion reigned.
I take full responsibility for any part I might have had in this confusion, even though I know the buyer won't take responsibility for his part of it, but I do believe that Mercury Retrograde played a part, regardless of assignation of blame or assumption of responsibility. I am not using Mercury Retrograde as an excuse, but after much soul-searching, there really is no other rational explanation that provides sufficiently convincing evidence for why this utter and complete breakdown in communications occurred.
In saying this, I do not mean to in any way trivialize or minimize this astrological concept for the true believers or the belief they have in it. I'm simply saying that I believe a strong case can be made for what those true believers claim Mercury Retrograde to be, a strong case.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Yawn...
I think I've discovered the meaning of the word "irrelevant."
In a recent news article, Scottish golfer Colin Montgomerie claims that Tiger Woods will return from his marital problems to win more majors but says Woods won't be the iconic player who dominated golf for the past decade. Monty said he had no doubt Woods would come back and add to his 14 majors, but said his mystique had now gone.
Really.
My question is this: does anyone at all, whether they're in golf or out of golf, really give a rip about what Monty says about anything?
Yawn.
In a recent news article, Scottish golfer Colin Montgomerie claims that Tiger Woods will return from his marital problems to win more majors but says Woods won't be the iconic player who dominated golf for the past decade. Monty said he had no doubt Woods would come back and add to his 14 majors, but said his mystique had now gone.
Really.
My question is this: does anyone at all, whether they're in golf or out of golf, really give a rip about what Monty says about anything?
Yawn.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Another unintended consequence of the bad economy?
With unemployment hovering in the 10-plus-percent range and finding jobs as tough as finding diamonds in your driveway, the 12-plus alleged mistresses of golfer Tiger Woods are having an equally difficult time finding gainful employment and recompense as a result of their alleged notoriety: there appears to be a glut in the jilted gal-pal market.
Daytime and primetime airwaves are choked with celebrity talk shows, and reality shows are barely able to manage a full season let alone the multi-season renewals they all seek. Tabloid media outlets are falling all over themselves trying to keep up with the seemingly endless stream of Jezebels de jour clamoring for media dollars and mass attention. Nancy Grace is positively breathless with feigned indignation and smugness.
Telling all, publicly admitting you have no ethics or morals, is proving to be a growth industry, but all these Dupre-wanna-be's can't seem to stay out of one another's way, let alone their own, when it comes to realizing gain from their alleged pain.
"What? You claim to have had an affair with a famous person? Get in line. An attorney, an agent, and a publicist will be with you shortly. Slick operators are standing by."
Of course the attorneys, agents, and publicists representing these clueless climbers will do well, but the gravy trains on which they intend to travel are in danger of derailment. When that happens, what will these women use as previous employment on their unemployment forms? Professional parasite? Alleged mistress? Jilted lover?
Maybe one reality show with all of them competing against each other would be the answer. It could be called "Survivor : Island of the Shameless" or "Tiger's Trollops" or "Babes in Skankland." Whatever it's called, though, it appears no one is safe from this skid in the economy.
Yes, Tiger does seem to have behaved stupidly and insensitively and, if proven true, he will pay for his behavior in ways no one has yet considered. But profiting from someone else's stupidity, someone else's mistakes, seems to be the real growth industry here, albeit one that's still in search of a payout.
We should all be happy we won't have to watch Elin Woods standing silently by her husband as he apologizes; we've seen way too much of that humiliation in the last several years. Thankfully, so far, Mrs. Woods seems to have too much class for that to happen. If only this sort of classiness was the growth industry, but it'll never happen; it'll never sell anywhere near as well as shamelessness and greed seem to do.
Daytime and primetime airwaves are choked with celebrity talk shows, and reality shows are barely able to manage a full season let alone the multi-season renewals they all seek. Tabloid media outlets are falling all over themselves trying to keep up with the seemingly endless stream of Jezebels de jour clamoring for media dollars and mass attention. Nancy Grace is positively breathless with feigned indignation and smugness.
Telling all, publicly admitting you have no ethics or morals, is proving to be a growth industry, but all these Dupre-wanna-be's can't seem to stay out of one another's way, let alone their own, when it comes to realizing gain from their alleged pain.
"What? You claim to have had an affair with a famous person? Get in line. An attorney, an agent, and a publicist will be with you shortly. Slick operators are standing by."
Of course the attorneys, agents, and publicists representing these clueless climbers will do well, but the gravy trains on which they intend to travel are in danger of derailment. When that happens, what will these women use as previous employment on their unemployment forms? Professional parasite? Alleged mistress? Jilted lover?
Maybe one reality show with all of them competing against each other would be the answer. It could be called "Survivor : Island of the Shameless" or "Tiger's Trollops" or "Babes in Skankland." Whatever it's called, though, it appears no one is safe from this skid in the economy.
Yes, Tiger does seem to have behaved stupidly and insensitively and, if proven true, he will pay for his behavior in ways no one has yet considered. But profiting from someone else's stupidity, someone else's mistakes, seems to be the real growth industry here, albeit one that's still in search of a payout.
We should all be happy we won't have to watch Elin Woods standing silently by her husband as he apologizes; we've seen way too much of that humiliation in the last several years. Thankfully, so far, Mrs. Woods seems to have too much class for that to happen. If only this sort of classiness was the growth industry, but it'll never happen; it'll never sell anywhere near as well as shamelessness and greed seem to do.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
A Lieberman by any other name...
Senator Joseph Lieberman (I, CT) is offended at being castigated by those who believe he's a pouting obstructionist dickh3@d, an obedient and sycophantic slave to his insurance industry masters, who is intent on stopping real health care reform via his constant adolescent whining, childish foot stomping, and prima donna posturing.
Senator Lieberman feels strongly that the term dickh3@d is improperly ascribed.
OK.
You're a pouting obstructionist, an obedient and sycophantic slave to your insurance industry masters, who is intent on stopping real health care reform via your constant adolescent whining, childish foot stomping, and prima donna posturing.
You're right, Senator, that sounds much better. Thanks!
Senator Lieberman feels strongly that the term dickh3@d is improperly ascribed.
OK.
You're a pouting obstructionist, an obedient and sycophantic slave to your insurance industry masters, who is intent on stopping real health care reform via your constant adolescent whining, childish foot stomping, and prima donna posturing.
You're right, Senator, that sounds much better. Thanks!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
"There" is a better way...
After reading several online articles in the last few weeks in which the authors misused one or another of the homonyms "there/their/they're," I'd like to offer the following mnemonic to aid remembering the three forms:
"They're in their car over there."
If you keep this sentence in mind, you'll never again confuse "they're," the contraction for"they are," with "their," the possessive form of "they," with "there," which indicates a place or position.
"They're in their car over there."
If you keep this sentence in mind, you'll never again confuse "they're," the contraction for"they are," with "their," the possessive form of "they," with "there," which indicates a place or position.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thirty-nine Nope-ublicans said "nope."
The vote tonight was 60 to 39.
Thirty-nine people said "no" to the millions without health insurance.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Thirty-nine people said "no" to the millions without health insurance.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Pats and Colts Haikus...
Belichick's gamble
Seemed like a good idea
Payton made him pay.
After one point down
After one point down
The Hoodie had a nightmare
Manning was in it.
The Pats are not fools
The Pats are not fools
But their coaches fooled them once
They won't fool them twice.
New England at Indy
New England at Indy
Both teams played their toughest game
Indianapolis won.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Human group names...
Just as the animal kingdom has all manner of cool names for groups of its inhabitants, I'd like to think the human kingdom has similar monikers. But sadly, this is not the case.
Animals have a murder of crows, a business of ferrets, an implausibility of gnus (no, really), a mutation of thrush, a caravan of camels, a coalition of chitas, and a bite of midges. Here is a complete list.
Sadly, however, all we seem to have is a group of people.
So, I'd like to correct this and suggest some names that describe the various human groups (and human types) that populate the planet.
Here is a partial list:
Animals have a murder of crows, a business of ferrets, an implausibility of gnus (no, really), a mutation of thrush, a caravan of camels, a coalition of chitas, and a bite of midges. Here is a complete list.
Sadly, however, all we seem to have is a group of people.
So, I'd like to correct this and suggest some names that describe the various human groups (and human types) that populate the planet.
Here is a partial list:
- A putter of golfers
- A badge of policeman
- A blaze of fireman
- A shock of electricians
- A basin of plumbers
- A deck of gamblers
- A measure of musicians
- A jiggle of joggers (thanks S and N!)
- A batch of bakers
- A podium of politicians
- An orbit of astronauts
- An break of psychotics
- A right of conservatives
- A left of liberals
- A cup of Tea Partiers
- A shout of talk-radio hosts
- A disorder of neurotics
- An opinion of pundits
- A lesson of teachers
- A pucker of a$$holes
Canada launches "Stop the Leakage!"
Canada's well documented "brain drain" saw talented and creative academics, researchers, and engineers leave Canada to take jobs in the US. And although this decade-long outflow has slowed somewhat due to the US economy (as well as to overt efforts by the Canadian government to staunch it) a consistent trickle persists.
To counter this, Canada's Ministry of Super-Double-Secret Reverse-Counter-Demagoguery and Abundantly Redundant Superfluities (or MSDSRCDARS, pronounced, miss-diss-rack-dars) has come up with a covert plan, called "Stop the Leakage!" that might not only stop the leakage, but that just might reverse the flow completely, thereby bringing thousands if not millions back to the Great White North in droves (although the US is currently suffering a drove shortage due to outsourcing and materials issues).
The MSDSRCDARS is actively supporting a Palin-Bachmann presidential ticket for the 2012 US presidential election. This effort was brought about as the result of hearing reports of a recent comment made by Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R, Minnesota) who, in response to the question "does Minnesota see Canada as an ally," said "I'm not sure, but I see Canada from my porch."
Frightened half to death by her relative proximity, officials at the MSDSRCDARS , who declined to be identified because they always wanted to be able to say "we decline to be identified," came up with their plan and said their hope is to, "scare the bejesus out of those rational Americans who see a Palin-Bachmann ticket as a direct path to a living Hell right here on Earth."
Although with this effort the MSDSRCDARS admits it is working somewhat outside its normal scope, these same officials are confident they can achieve "a win-win by scaring Canadians back to Canada and by getting Obama elected for a second term." (Editor's Note: There is documented evidence of Canadian meddling in the past, both in the form of conspiracies and plots to invade the US.)
After they succeed with this project (pronounced "prō-ject"), their next one is to develop a working definition of "bejesus," but more importantly to see that the expression "win-win" is "never again used by anyone, anywhere" and they have, in fact, issued a public apology for its use here. The MSDSRCDARS will also be finding a new name for their ministry as they say their printing and ink costs have gone through the roof.
We wish them luck with their prōject... um... project.
To counter this, Canada's Ministry of Super-Double-Secret Reverse-Counter-Demagoguery and Abundantly Redundant Superfluities (or MSDSRCDARS, pronounced, miss-diss-rack-dars) has come up with a covert plan, called "Stop the Leakage!" that might not only stop the leakage, but that just might reverse the flow completely, thereby bringing thousands if not millions back to the Great White North in droves (although the US is currently suffering a drove shortage due to outsourcing and materials issues).
The MSDSRCDARS is actively supporting a Palin-Bachmann presidential ticket for the 2012 US presidential election. This effort was brought about as the result of hearing reports of a recent comment made by Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R, Minnesota) who, in response to the question "does Minnesota see Canada as an ally," said "I'm not sure, but I see Canada from my porch."
Frightened half to death by her relative proximity, officials at the MSDSRCDARS , who declined to be identified because they always wanted to be able to say "we decline to be identified," came up with their plan and said their hope is to, "scare the bejesus out of those rational Americans who see a Palin-Bachmann ticket as a direct path to a living Hell right here on Earth."
Although with this effort the MSDSRCDARS admits it is working somewhat outside its normal scope, these same officials are confident they can achieve "a win-win by scaring Canadians back to Canada and by getting Obama elected for a second term." (Editor's Note: There is documented evidence of Canadian meddling in the past, both in the form of conspiracies and plots to invade the US.)
After they succeed with this project (pronounced "prō-ject"), their next one is to develop a working definition of "bejesus," but more importantly to see that the expression "win-win" is "never again used by anyone, anywhere" and they have, in fact, issued a public apology for its use here. The MSDSRCDARS will also be finding a new name for their ministry as they say their printing and ink costs have gone through the roof.
We wish them luck with their prōject... um... project.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Lou Dobbs' ego seeks to stay on at CNN...
Although Lou Dobbs will be leaving CNN after being released from his contract, his ego is requesting permission to be kept on at CNN so that up-and-coming actors turned opinion journalists can learn from the very best. But because Mr. Dobbs has allowed his ego to run unfettered at CNN for so many years, this might not prove a workable option.
Interestingly enough, though, just after announcing his departure from CNN, and his ego's request to remain, Mr. Dobbs mouth has now asked for a release from its contract to speak for Mr. Dobbs; however, Mr. Dobbs' mouthpiece denied his mouth's request, saying Mr. Dobbs will do what he can to put a sock in it.
Then, when asked what he might be considering as a post-CNN career, Mr. Dobbs' mouth wrote a large check that his ego just couldn't cash, so at this point it's not clear what the future holds for Mr. Dobbs, for his ego, for his mouth, or for this hyper-extended metaphor.
But until Mr. Dobbs' ego allows him to pull his head from his a$$, his mouth will be unavailable for comment.
Interestingly enough, though, just after announcing his departure from CNN, and his ego's request to remain, Mr. Dobbs mouth has now asked for a release from its contract to speak for Mr. Dobbs; however, Mr. Dobbs' mouthpiece denied his mouth's request, saying Mr. Dobbs will do what he can to put a sock in it.
Then, when asked what he might be considering as a post-CNN career, Mr. Dobbs' mouth wrote a large check that his ego just couldn't cash, so at this point it's not clear what the future holds for Mr. Dobbs, for his ego, for his mouth, or for this hyper-extended metaphor.
But until Mr. Dobbs' ego allows him to pull his head from his a$$, his mouth will be unavailable for comment.
The end times are certainly near...
Sean Hannity apologizes for his rally-video gaff! Of course he said it was a screw-up, and of course this certainly is possible, but he did apologize and that had to be tough for him, in all honesty. And I'm fairly certain the Daily Show staffer who watched your show, Sean, needed a shower afterward.
But kudos to you!
Now maybe it's time to apologize for this "incorrect video." You're supposedly a journalist, after all; this is not Fractured Flickers! You can't just patch together various vignettes to suit your position. (Oops I guess you actually can do this because you did.)
But kudos to you!
Now maybe it's time to apologize for this "incorrect video." You're supposedly a journalist, after all; this is not Fractured Flickers! You can't just patch together various vignettes to suit your position. (Oops I guess you actually can do this because you did.)
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