Tiger's untimely exit...

Well, he lasted two rounds after being away eight months. Tim Clark played bogey-free golf and didn't let up, didn't allow Tiger any traction, and, ultimately, didn't lose to the world's number 1. For Tiger's part, he probably didn't play to his usual standards, but... to his everlasting credit he did not take a single thing away from Tim Clark's effort and result. Eldrick is a classy guy, indeed.

Allow me to float a theory, of sorts: Tiger came back for this tournament to honor a sponsor commitment, and played as well as he could to win assuming he got some breaks, as he did the first day with Brendan Jones who gave Tiger a great deal of wiggle room in that first round. Tiger won that round, but had he played a guy who was on, he might not have won and might have exited after that first round. This is true of any good golfer, against any other good golfer.

Now, Tiger has said that he does not enter tournaments to simply make the cut, or to place. He enters them to win. Period.

OK.

But what if Tiger is starting to see the light at the end of his golfing tunnel? What if being a dad for the second time is creating a stronger pull on him, a stronger attraction for him, than golf has? What if Tiger is considering his exit from the game after he wins his 19th major?

Stay with me for a second.

When Tiger wins that 19th major he'll set a record that, arguably, might well never be broken, let alone matched, by anyone... until, maybe... wait for it... Charlie Axel Woods matches it or breaks it. Does Tiger see Charlie as his golf-legacy's future?

Obviously, any child is his or her parents' legacy, sure, but in the case of Eldrick Tiger Woods, what better legacy could there be for the best golfer in the world than to raise the best golfer in the world? Tiger's dad successfully raised Tiger to be exactly that, and Earl was not the world's best golfer; so, why would Tiger not be able to do the same? Put another way, who better to do it? (And who's to say daughter Sam couldn't be that golfer?)

Maybe Charlie won't show any aptitude or interest, and I think (I would hope) Tiger and his wife are smart enough to allow that to be what it must be, to allow their children to make some of their own choices. But what if Charlie does show aptitude and interest?

Wouldn't that be a cool story?

I think it would be, and it'll be fun watching it all unfold, no matter how it goes. Sure, there are many things going on right now that are far more important than Tiger, Charlie, and their future together, but this is fun, and what's wrong with a little fun?

We'll have Tiger playing his best for a few more years, at least: I plan on enjoying them all.

Wingnut Alert!

Yikes.

Still Barenaked?

This really is too bad.

I hope the band can maintain its uniqueness without Page.

Tiger TV!

If you're not a golfer, seeing Tiger play again is not that big a deal.

But if you are a golfer, this is going to be fun, win or lose.

He's a special player who has done wonders for the game. If you're a golfer and you can't get fired up about this, even a little bit, then I can't imagine what does get you going, and you might need to seek medical attention.

How to and how not to...

Great speech

Timely, appropriate, straightforward, and well delivered.

Not-so-great speech

Mmmm... not so much. The Repo response seemed as if it was written weeks ago, which is sort of ironic considering they're often accused of not listening.

Lefty wins!

Way to go, Phil!

I told you losing that white belt would help. You don't want to shoot in the 70s, so why would you want to dress in them?

Haikus

Black shirt and black pants
Hmmm... would it have been so tough
To reach for black belt?

Phil’s white belt shining
Like a glowing bright beacon
From the seventies.
Only Phil's belt knows
Just how many rummage sales
He had to visit.

Phil’s new white belt
Between black shirt and pants screams
Oreo filling!

Alan, oh Alan...

What a goofball!

Do you really believe that you're believable? You bring incredulity to incredulity itself. You regularly test new depths of shallowness. You're not even up to half a wackjob, and anyone who buys into your goofiness is goofier than you.

Be careful, Mr. Keyes: saying President Obama "must be stopped" is right on the hairy edge of that which the Secret Service takes very, very seriously, indeed.

Hey Phil...

Don't look to Butch or to Dave, because I know exactly why you had trouble today on the course.

Two words... white belt.

Two more words... lose it.

Two more words... yes, really.

Unless you plan on rolling up to the clubhouse in a Gremlin or a Pacer, I'd reconsider rocking that wardrobe.

I love your game Phil, but I survived the fashion-bereft 70s and know what I'm talking about here.

Please trust me... "70s Fashion" is an oxymoron.

Cassandra Kudlow...

Hey Larry... Chicken Little has nothing on you. You give wingnuts everywhere a bad name.

Stop shouting, take a breath, and listen to those guests of yours who obviously take themselves far less seriously and who actually use the brains they have.

He's baaack!

YES!

The definition of mealy-mouthed...

What a d@ckhead.

You'll take our money. You won't like it. But you'll do it. I get it.

You're running for president in 2012.

You want to derail your state while you keep your career on track! Great plan.

As a federal taxpayer who is paying into the federal plan to help your state, I'd rather you just (A) accept the cash and then (B) shove it into the place where you keep your head, although I doubt it will yield one bit of interest.

Only one way to say it...

...yuck.

Must-see TV for certain ...

This is a fascinating discussion and explanation of what has to happen with the banks and what we have to do to take back the country!

Oligarchy: it's a special word.

The birth of a euphemism...

Retention award enters the public lexicon as the euphemism du jour.

Spare me.

Who are they kidding. Retention award = bonus.

And for what? The person who lost the least amount of money? Great job.

Just put down the crack pipe and back away slowly.